Salima Andany

Image Description:

A silhouette of a woman stands alone on a hilltop under a cloudy, gray sky with a bright yellow moon or sun in the background, creating a moody and contemplative scene.

Artist Description:

I chose the title, 'nobody', as it represents how, in my experience, I'm not seen or heard. I suffer alone, confined and imprisoned within my brain & body.

 

'Nobody' has a dual narrative expressing solitude & triumph through a journey of self-actualization.

 

Originally titled, 'Misery', I decided, as the narrator, I was being dishonest as that title wasn't telling the whole story. Enter the brave new world.

 

Existing in duality are my two worlds of visible and invisible disabilities. Immense grief and loss of: identity, family, friends, colleagues, jobs, purpose, meaning, etc. are the most painful losses. You can heal and live in whatever that 'New normal' looks like, yet sometimes what you lose is irreplaceable. Some damage is irrevocable.

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Have you noticed the woman is with child? This painting was 5yrs in its creation as I processed the pain of never being able to have a child as a result of my first MVA, 30 yrs ago. My perspective, my world became very small due to amnesia and physical injuries. Eventually, when I could go out into the world, it took courage. My new world was drastically altered. I'd lost fluency in six languages as well as having to relearn how to: walk, speak, read & write. Essentially, my brain was an Etch-A-Sketch. While bedridden, one of my past-times was learning words from the dictionary. I didn't even recognize my own Mum and her roles.

 

At times it was overwhelming to experience the lack of empathy from others, which lead to social anxiety and internalized ableism. I experienced firsthand the unfortunate lack of awareness, understanding, and compassion of disabilities. Generally, when we think of grief, we think of death, however, disenfranchised grief, grief that isn't for the loss of a loved one isn't validated.

 

Still, the painting has optimistic themes. I'm standing on top of a mountain, having climbed the rough terrain. The mountain is representative of my struggles and my healing journey. I've accomplished so much, despite many losses.

 

The creative process of 'Nobody' is a testament to actualization in an overwhelming, ableist, and too often unkind world. 

 

My community is resilient, always striving to be better, both to others and ourselves. I have many mountains to overcome. I fall. I strive. I rise.